Credit: Wikimedia Commons
THIS JUST IN: Prince William and Kate, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, have announced that they will (drumroll please!) have (wait for it!) another (get ready for the BIG NEWS!) baby.
That's right: This young married couple has sex and is procreating. This makes them . . . virtually identical to the roughly 724,000 other couples who pop out a baby each year in England and Wales. But this isn't just any couple. Oh no. This is a couple who, through birth luck and marriage, have lots of wealth and nominal power as members of the British monarchy. And that makes their baby-makin' news worthy of breathless headlines and stories from reporters tasked exclusively with covering the "royal event."
Not to be cold, but let's also pause here to note that this soon-to-arrive baby won't even be next in line to the throne. So he/she is particularly un-noteworthy (sorry baby, but that's the way the monarchy works).
To highlight just how mundane this news is when you really think about it, we've taken one representative article about the birth announcement, from ABC News, and stripped it of any and all royal references, replacing Prince William with "Bob" and Duchess Kate with "Jane."
Turns out having a baby is really, really boring.
Britain's Bob and wife Jane are expecting their second child. "Obviously we're thrilled," Bob said today. "It's great news."
Jane 32, was scheduled to travel to Oxford with Bob but is instead being treated by doctors today.
"She's feeling OK," Bob said. "[It's the] early days but I hope things settle down and she feels a bit better."
The woman is not yet 12 weeks pregnant.
Hyperemesis gravidarum is acute morning sickness that requires supplementary hydration and nutrients.
“This is morning sickness like a hurricane is a little bit of rain,” said a doctor who has not treated the woman. "It's really not morning sickness."
“Typically this resolves around mid-pregnancy but in some extreme cases it can last the entire nine months," the random doctor added.
Jane was due to visit Malta in less than two weeks. But given her morning sickness, she may not be able to.
“While the couple is obviously very excited, they are very cautiously excited,” said someone who doesn't know the couple.
The baby, expected to be born in the spring, will be a younger sibling to 1-year-old Joe.
British Prime Minister David Cameron expressed excitement about the announcement.
“Many congratulations to Bob and Jane. I’m delighted by the happy news that they’re expecting another baby,” he wrote on Twitter.