On The Front Lines Of 40, Some Advice For My Former Selves 

My mother became a mother when she was 21 and I became a mother when I was 21. Then my mom was a grandmother at age 42. She seemed old. So old.

So so old.

Now that I've embarked upon the decade I once considered "old," there are a few things I'd like my 20 (and 30) year-old self to know.

Live in the moment.

Ask yourself, “Is this going to matter in five years, in 10 years?” If the answer is no—don’t worry about it. In fact just stop worrying. Period. Worrying steals your joy. So does comparing. So stop doing that too. This journey is yours. Comparing yourself and your life to anyone else is completely futile.

You probably think you are pretty damn smart.

You actually may even be pretty smart. But when you hit 40 you're going to look back on 20 and 30 and think . . . wow I was really not at all very smart. I suspect 60 year-old me will say the same thing to 40 year-old me too. That's ok. Make some mistakes. Make a lot of mistakes. You're going to keep making them so you should probably get used to it. Don't worry about it. Mistakes are how you are going to learn to be even more awesome.

You're not fat. In fact you look amazing.

Start owning this now. All the little parts of you that you pick apart now will still be there when you're 40. And they'll be even more worthy of being picked apart then. So just stop picking. You are more physically capable than you'll be in 10 or 20 years so embrace that. You're going to have more stretch marks and more wrinkles so just stop fretting. Age is coming for you whether you like it or not. Also your knees and back are going to start hurting. Enjoy them while they don't.

Money isn't everything.

It's going to feel like it is. You may even actually believe this to be true. But if you can eat and pay your bills (even if you occasionally have to struggle) you're doing alright. In 20 years you are going to remember the things you did and felt—not how much money you had. Start a habit of saving now. Really think about whether or not you need something or just want it. Belongings are fleeting. The pair of Lucky jeans I just had to have, I don't even own anymore.

Don't settle.

Don't get married because it seems like the logical next step. If you're questioning your choice in a partner (I'm talking about serious doubts, not just cold feet) then STOP. Stop what you're doing and think about it. Are you overlooking things that seem little but will eventually be HUGE? Is he pro-life and you are pro-