Ravishly wouldn't be Ravishly without a healthy dose of heated debate. On that note, let it be known that, unlike our writer Anne Theriault, I much prefer the Ninja Turtle Donatello* to Raphael.
May the warfare begin.
In addition to Anne's controversial piece about the hottest cartoon turtle (and other childhood infatuations), this week we also brought you kink-shaming, sex toys, horny moms, and some good old-fashioned MRA-WTF-ing.
But wait, there's more! Here are some other faves from the week . . .
When contributor Joni Edelman got her hands on a leaked memo from a military base commander barring women from breastfeeding in public, she did what any good mom/writer would do: she blew the roof off the joint. In the wake of her scathing piece about the memo and all it says about the sad state of affairs for mothers in America, the commander issued an apology, and the policy was changed.
Journalism in action, folks.
Choice quote: "Saying you 'respect the rights of mothers' but will 'accommodate those rights while respecting concerns of exposure in public settings' is basically like saying, 'I'm not a racist, I just don't like black people' or 'I agree in marriage equality, just not for gay people.'"
In which the ever-illustrious Little Bear Schwartz tackles marginalization and invalidation—and why she can't answer all your questions and solve all your problems. Sorry not sorry.
(Bonus points for the photo.)
Choice quote: "NonBinary people are in that weird purgatory of not-quite-oppressed because of our invisibility, but still met with eye-rolls and laughs for our 'attention seeking.' This is intensely damaging in its own right."
Contributing writer Anne Theriault waxes nostalgic about all the characters she crushed hard on as a kid—cartoon fox, Ninja Turtle, alien, and nerdy Ghostbuster included.
Choice quote: "Tragically, I can tell you exactly what we all liked about Raphael: he's an emotionally damaged man-baby who seems like he would present a rewarding challenge to any lady willing to take him on. Dating Raphael would mean hours spent listening to him air all of his grievances about life. Splinter wasn't proud enough of him and didn't love or respect him the way he did the other turtles. He'd been passed over for turtle leadership because he was too unreliable and impulsive."
In response to a piece in The Atlantic, Noah Berlatsky examines the stigmas and controversies surrounding the enduring and ever-fraught question: to child-bear or not to child-bear?
Choice quote: "The stumbling block here is that it's difficult to point to childbearing as barbaric without implicating the people who have children. I'm sure none of these writers intends to argue that parents or mothers are stupid, irresponsible, or even vaguely disgusting. And yet those implications are there—not least because they're quite prevalent prejudices in the culture at large."
Turns out there a whole bunch of reasons a woman may not be interested in returning your awkward advances. So, at least, claims Winona Rose-Ediger—and she even has the GIFs to prove her point!
Choice quote: "There's a phenomenon that women experience fairly frequently, and it goes like this: we're on the street, or the subway, or a bus, or the express checkout line at the grocery store, and a random dude we don't know tries to strike up a conversation. We either don't engage with him, or try to subtly hint that we don't want to talk. Or maybe we just say, 'I don't want to talk right now.' And then, out of nowhere, this 'nice' guy gets angry. He makes a scene or says 'bitch' under his breath, or tells us we're stuck up and not worth his time.
Overall, it's a super fun interaction!"