JUST LOOK AT THOSE BEADY LITTLE EYES.
I’m of two minds about artificial intelligence. I think it’s an important technological advancement that we can harness to accomplish a lot of really great things and save a lot of lives. I think it leads us to ask important questions about what is real and what is not.
At the very least, the concept gave us Westworld, the highlight of my Sunday night TV-bingeing ritual.
But that doesn’t mean I’m not also absolutely terrified that one day the artifice will rise above its creator, kill us all in a robot apocalypse, and make a Vitamix blender President of the United States. And that’s if there’s still even a United States to president of at that point!
Which is why this Alexa-powered fish is basically the most terrifying non-election related thing I have seen in a good long while. The Next Web calls the guy who made this abomination a “hero,” but I’d err more along the lines of “diabolical evil super genius whose Promethean hubris is sure to get us all killed by a talking fish.”
Here. Just watch for yourself. Please note the title: “The Future.” Not ominous AT ALL.
This animated fish, whose scientific name is the “Big Mouth Billy Bass,” has been hooked up to an Amazon Echo. Basically, somebody gave the news anchor from Spongebob Squarepants a fully functioning remote computer THAT CAN TALK for a brain.
The man who did this is named Brian Kane, and I have a very important question for him:
Apparently this guy has never watched Terminator or Blade Runner or The Brave Little Toaster, all of which would have deterred him from imbuing a mechanical fish with the power to control the weather. Because that is ABSOLUTELY what is happening here.
If you need me, I’ll be building an underground bunker somewhere far, far off the grid. Probably Iceland, but I also haven’t ruled out New Mexico. Somewhere without creepy talking fish with access to the internet.