October is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness month. Sunday, in particular, is the day designated for the candlelight vigil meant to unite loss families while they mourn the loss of the littlest of souls. It’s very important. It’s also very depressing. We’ve had a week full of essays about miscarriages, the death of a toddler, stillborn babies, babies that died in utero. We need this time to grieve, but sometimes it can become overwhelming. I’m here to remind you that, in this time especially, you need to be mindful of your emotional, mental, and physical wellness.
Here are some ways you can accomplish this, while still honoring the loss of your child:
1. Get a massage, manicure, pedicure, or facial. Or all four.
All of the hormones associated with anxiety, sadness, grief, they have to go somewhere. For a lot of us (m included) stress manifest in a number of ways, but it especially likes to hang out in our muscles.
Massage is great way to manage this muscular pain.
Massage can also be a little pricey but I have two solutions for that (and no, neither of them are “ask your husband for a half-assed back rub that inevitably ends with sex”).
A. Massage schools.
We have a massage school in my small town and an hour-long student massage is $35. They aren’t the most skilled but since you give them a review when you’re done, they try REAL hard.
I know, it’s not just for light-up kitten headphones anymore.
If you do happen to be looking for light up kitten headphones, they have you covered.
There were 140 Groupons for massages, facials, and the like within a one hour radius of my small-ish town.
Remember to drink a lot of water after a massage (but not before, because pee https://ravishly.com/how-to-stop-peeing-my-pants ) to flush out all of what has been rubbed out.
2. Use the internet for good.
You might want to avoid reading articles and/or essays.
But we’ve got a fun self-care set-up on Tumblr for you.
3. Pet a dog (or a cat, if you can find one that will let you).
It is a well-known scientific fact that animals make people feel better.
(Unless they are pooping all over your house or eating your vacuum.)
Here is a list of the some of the best breeds to help fight the sads.
I can attest to the value of the pug.
Our pug, Lily, can make anyone feel better with a snort and a full-body wag.
But you know what’s also awesome? A dog from the pound.
That’s where we got our Lucy girl.
This dog is GOLD. (She also destroyed everything in her reach for the first two years of her life.)
Cats are also good.
Just not my cat. She’s an ass.
She might not look like an ass, but I assure you, she is in fact, an ass.
4. Take a bath.
Drought be damned (if you live in California anyway). Baths are so good. Get a book. Get a beverage (I would recommend a nice Cab Sauv or chamomile tea, depending on what you might have to do after the bath).
You can trust Sylvia Plath. She knew about being sad.
5. Color and shit.
Do you remember when I spent several weeks of my free-time making you an eBook?
Oh, just me then. Okay.
Anyway, I totally did and it’s totally awesome.
We’ve got a fun flowchart in there.
There are also printables, coloring pages, and lots of feel-good (not depressing) articles.
It's a hard month for a lot of folks in a lot of ways.
We see you. We hear you, We stand with you.
In love and light, the Ravishly staff.