Gemma Hartley

Gemma Hartley

Bio

Gemma Hartley is a freelance writer with a BA in writing from The University of Nevada, Reno. She is author of FED UP: Emotional Labor, Women and The Way Forward. She lives in Reno with her husband, three young kids, an awesome dog, and a terrible cat.

Gemma Hartley Articles

Little ones are... A LOT of work. (Image Credit: Thinkstock)

Maybe I WON'T Miss These Years When They're Older

Despite endless exhortations to "enjoy every second," the reality of three toddlers is not always a Disney postcard. And it's okay for some moms to admit that they look forward to having a little less mess, a little more serenity.

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The occasional drink helped keep my stress levels low — and ultimately it contributed to a healthier pregnancy for me. Image: WeHeartIt.

Why I Drank While I Was Pregnant

I went on to drink a small glass of wine or two per week throughout my pregnancy once I got over the initial shock of it being unplanned. Once I had adjusted to the fact that I was going to bring another baby into the world, I was still overwhelmed by the stress it brought on. I had suffered from postpartum depression after the birth of my son and we had decided not to have any more children. I didn't want the risks or the horrible anxiety that came with pregnancy. Yet here I was, facing all that uncertainty again. Damn right I needed a drink.

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What you really need out the gate isn’t a “mom tribe.” You simply need a tribe. Period. Image: Joni Edelman.

Why I Gave Up On Making 'Mom' Friends

Mom friends were the ones to whom you were supposed to spill all those dark parenting thoughts. I wanted that mom-magic. I knew it was out there somewhere.

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Of COURSE I give her Vitamin D drops...

I'm The Mom Who Lies To The Pediatrician

I spent the better part of two years a frazzled mess over things that ultimately didn’t matter. My child was still growing up perfectly normal, even when he didn’t follow the straight and narrow path set forth by his pediatrician. I was driving myself over the edge for nothing.

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Raise a glass to Friendsgiving - feasting without any sides of controversy or conspiracy theorizing.

6 Reasons Friendsgiving Beats Real Thanksgiving Every Damn Time

Raise a glass to Friendsgiving - feasting without any sides of controversy or conspiracy theorizing. Friendsgiving is the best of all feasts.

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I wish I had someone to tell me that sometimes surviving motherhood is enough.

Sometimes Surviving Motherhood Is Enough

I’m not saying there is no joy to motherhood. I go through periods where I do feel like I’m at my parenting best. There are times when I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for the amazing life and children I’ve been given. It can be so, so good. But what I’m saying is, it doesn’t always have to feel like that.

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The real reason I’m worried about sending my kids to school is that I’m going to be alone.

All Of My Kids Are In School & I Don't Know How To Be Alone

The real reason I’m worried about sending my kids to school is that I’m going to be alone. For the first time in nearly a decade. And that’s scary.

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The Emotional Cost Of Shelving Your Dreams

I am sometimes painfully envious of other (usually childless) writers who are doing the very thing I swore I would have done by now — publishing a novel.

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End Irresponsible Ejaculation: On Protecting The Sanctity Of Life

Anti-choice folks love to say that these laws aren’t about controlling and punishing a large portion of the population, they are about the sanctity of life. And life, according to those who are anti-choice, begins when sperm meets egg.

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I wish that people understood that it’s never OK to comment on a mother’s age — young or old. Because the judgmental connotation is always there, no matter how innocent the intent.

Is It Ever Okay To Comment On A Mother's Age?

The insecurities about my age pushed me over the edge, making me work myself to the bone trying to be what I thought society would deem as a “good mom.” So I wish people understood that it’s never OK to comment on a mother’s age — young or old. Because the judgmental connotation is always there, no matter how innocent the intent.

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