Buy This Romanian Fortress And Escape The 2016 Election Dumpster Fire!

This isn't the actual castle. It's a stock image. Sorry.

This isn't the actual castle. It's a stock image. Sorry.

As the US elections draw closer and the consequences of an unfavorable outcome writhe through our nightmares, some of us may be wandering the internet in search of foreign real estate. An escape hatch, if you will.

While some might dream of a beach in Fiji or an apartment in Toronto (socialized health care, anyone?), for anyone looking for a more dramatic new home, have I got a deal for you!

For the low, low price of around $60 million, you can be the owner of Bran Castle, a towering fortress in the Romanian countryside! This 13th century stronghold boasts a storied history (though probably lacks amenities like central air and wifi). Built in 1226 as a military fortress in the Transylvania region of Romania, the castle has served as headquarters for peoples from Saxons to Teutonic knights, to Romania royalty to military regiments.

But the castle’s most famous role is as the inspiration for Dracula’s castle in the 1897 novel by Bram Stoker. In fact, Vlad the Impaler, who was the basis for Count D himself, was from that area and may have been a prisoner in the castle’s dungeons in 1495.

So, like, you might need to burn some sage and say some prayers to clear out lingering bad energy if you decide to buy the place. Because, yeah. But it's honestly nothing compared to the actual dumpster fire that is the 2016 elections.

After being turned into a museum by the Communist government of the late 20th century, the castle was turned over to the remaining members of the Romanian royal family. They continue to use the castle as a tourist destination and it welcomes over half a million people annually. But the owners are aging (because they’re not vampires) and are looking to sell it to someone who will carry on running the museum.

So if you have ready cash and want to flee to a fortress on a mountain to ride out a bumpy patch in American politics, Bran Castle might be for you!

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