If you're anything like me, the only enjoyable part of shopping at Costco is the samples. It's always packed, there's nowhere to park, people push their massive fucking carts slower than molasses in January, and everything about it makes me homicidal except for the sweet, sweet lure of the samples.
Well, a 24-year-old Burbank man took his love of Costco samples to a whole new level Tuesday when he PUNCHED an old man in the FACE for daring to suggest that he was taking too many samples of Nutella waffles.
Now, I know and sympathize with the siren's song of the Nutella waffle. I also can relate to an occasional desire to punch someone in the face, particularly when they are coming between me and Nutella waffles. I mean, Derrick Gharabighi didn't ASK the other man's opinion of his decision to grab an entire TRAY of waffles. He didn't need that kind of food shaming in his life. Still, there are probably better ways to resolve situations like these than by punching a 78-year-old man in the face.
Unfortunately, Gharabighi did not choose to be the better man and he is now being held on $50,000 bail. If convicted of elder abuse, he faces up to 11 years in state prison. And, sadly, there are probably no Nutella waffles in prison.