adulthood

10 Truths I've Learned In 35 Years

Photo courtesy of Reema Zaman.

I define myself by the truths I live by. Today, I’m turning 35. Here are 10 Truths I’ve learned that make me who I am. I offer them to you, with love.

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I’m So Old, Why Don’t I Have This Crap Figured Out?

How to apply eyeliner (without looking like a raccoon.)

I do not have this all figured out. I thought by middle age I would, but nope.

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23 Things You Should Have Learned In High School (But Didn't)

There's so much you should've learned in high school.

I’d like to teach a high school class called “Sh*t You Should Know To Be An Adult.” There's so much you should've learned in high school.

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No One Knows What They Are Doing — Including Me

Don't let first glances fool you. I am totally lost.

I have no idea what I’m doing. On any given day, at any given moment, I am so thoroughly and genuinely confused about what is happening.

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Why Can't I Be Vulnerable As An Adult?

If I wanted to start being vulnerable with the people I love again, I needed to figure out when my avoidance began and why.

Why can't I be vulnerable as an adult? Despite my fears of vulnerability, some part of me knew it was the key to having fulfilling intimate relationships.

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How I Caught A Dad On Pokemon Go

When I was a kid, my dad and I didn’t spend much time together. He was always taking my brother on weekend trips to go fishing, or waking him up when it was still dark to go deer-hunting, but I never wanted to go.

When I told him that I caught a Mantine, he wrote back, Yeah, I think I caught four or five of them today. I didn’t mind—for the first time in my life, my dad and I were talking without a mediator. He called around Thanksgiving to tell me that a new Pokémon had been added. He checked in again during a special water event in the game and said, Are you catching the fire out of these water Pokémon?

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Parenthood And The Passage Of Time

image credit: London Scout via Unsplash

But what can be said for the day upon which I am no longer enough? I dread that day.

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Me, My Parents, Fox News, And A Screaming Match — Being An Adult Is Complicated

image credit: Thinkstock

Becoming an adult didn’t magically open me up to their world and their psyche as I thought it would. Even having children of my own did little to unravel the mystery of my parents, because I wasn’t really interested in exploring honestly. I have always been concerned with who my parents were in relation to me, not who they were on their own.

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Why All Dudes Are F*!kboys Until They Aren't Anymore

A guy stops being a fuckboy once his priorities change.

You can’t change a fuckboy.

Here’s the absolute truth: you cannot change a fuckboy unless he wants to change by himself. This is where girls get messed up. They think that a guy is going to change his crappy behavior for HER. This is not the case 99.9% of the time. If he’s a fuckboy, he’s not ready to stop being one. It doesn’t matter how great you are or how much you love him. Trust me.

He has to make that decision for himself.

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Take The Cake: Loving My Extended Adolescence (Or Something)

In the wake of America's "crisis of adulthood" and in the middle of a city known for Peter Pan Syndrome, I find myself feeling that I too have gotten an extension on my adolescence. It has become a time for me to heal, center myself in a way I never could in childhood, and figure out what I want for my life.

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