Virgie Tovar

Virgie Tovar

Bio

Virgie Tovar, MA is an author, activist and one of the nation's leading experts and lecturers on fat discrimination and body image. She is the editor of Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love and Fashion (Seal Press, November 2012) and the mind behind #LoseHateNotWeight. She holds a Master's degree in Human Sexuality with a focus on the intersections of body size, race and gender. After teaching "Female Sexuality" at the University of California at Berkeley, where she completed a Bachelor's degree in Political Science in 2005, she went onto host "The Virgie Show" (CBS Radio) in San Francisco. She is certified as a sex educator and was voted Best Sex Writer by the Bay Area Guardian in 2008 for her first book. Virgie has been featured by the New York Times, MTV, Al Jazeera, the San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, Huffington Post, Bust Magazine, Jezebel, 7x7 Magazine, XOJane, and SF Weekly as well as on Women’s Entertainment Television and The Ricki Lake Show. Her most recent speaking engagements have included University of Washington, Earlham College, Hollins University, University of California at Berkeley, University of California at Davis, California College of the Arts, Sonoma State University, and Humboldt State University. She lives in San Francisco and offers workshops and lectures nationwide. Find her online at www.virgietovar.com. And on instagram. 

Virgie Tovar Articles

I thought we both knew he was our enemy, but in reality you both were mine.

Take The Cake: An Open Letter To The Woman Who Betrayed Me

I told you I never wanted to speak to him again. I offered that we work together to rid him from our lives. I thought we had both made the realization that he was garbage, but in reality, only I had.

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image credit: Virgie Tovar via Instagram

Take The Cake: Are You A Fat Girl Who Can’t Say No To People? Welcome!

I have met many people who can't say no. We all benefit when we speak clearly and frequently about what we need in order to thrive.

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Something like 80 percent of men expect their partner to be thin; tell me that isn’t an “excessive and irrational commitment.”

Take The Cake: Thin Fetishism Is More Common Than Fat Fetishism

The other night, I was eating capellini with asparagus and shrimp with a new friend/Babecamp Jamaica alum.

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image credit: Virgie Tovar via Instagram

Take The Cake: Where Do You Feel Safe In Your Fat Body? 

There are a lot of places where fat people don’t feel safe because of fatphobia. What does it feel like to feel safe in your fat body?

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You are the proverbial light. You are the world’s treasure.

Take The Cake: For The Queers Who Died Because The World Called Our Bodies Disposable

This is a love song for those who showed me there was a thing called freedom, and it wasn’t closed-legged, and it wasn’t passable, that it was expensive and gaudy, and I wanted it, and I didn’t want it.

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I Asked 60 Kinesiology Students To Define Health. Here's What Happened.

Health is the banner we have raised in defense of weight loss surgery, The Biggest Loser, putting children on diets, shaming our friends and family members, fat jokes, weight-based workplace discrimination, and heavily processed low-calorie meals with no nutritional value.

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image credit Virgie Tovar via Instagram

Take The Cake: Is ‘Dieting’ Really Disordered Eating?

It’s taken me a long time to write about this topic because I’m not an eating disorder specialist or clinician.

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Take The Cake: Secret Relationships With Fat Women

When we both moved to San Francisco in our 20s, she moved to a wealthy neighborhood and I moved into a neighborhood where old men had phone sex on the pay phone at the laundromat. Our friendship threatened her world in a way that it didn’t mine. The people I knew had neither wealth to protect nor any desire to play at that game, and so their lives were inspired by a freedom I adored. The kind of freedom that allows you to talk about shitting and fucking over dinner.

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Take The Cake: 35 Things I've Learned In 35 Years

One of my yearly rituals is making a list of things I’ve learned in the past year. So, I thought I would make public the list of things I’ve learned, and rather than just focus on one year, I thought I’d share my most important lessons from all the years I have been on this sacred poo-ball called earth.

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image credit: Virgie Tovar via @curvystreets

Take The Cake: My Body Did This Magical Thing & It Blew My Mind

This was the first time in my adult life when I had become really crystal clear on what I wanted and needed from others. I have been so used to letting others lead the exchange, unsure how to navigate, unable to access my own needs.

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