Cancer Found Guilty In Deaths Of Bowie, Rickman, And Millions More

On Tuesday night, President Obama tasked Vice President Biden with leading the “medical moonshot” that will result in a cure for cancer. That’s a noble task, indeed, and one that has personal resonance for the veep who recently lost his son to brain cancer. However, to paraphrase the words of Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer, this is something we could have used YESTERDAY.

Cancer, which is a hot steaming pile of toxic dogshit, has been killing amazing people this week at a tragic rate. We awoke a few mornings ago to hear that cancer had carried David “Ziggy Stardust” Bowie to eternity, and today the Twitter machine is informing us that Alan “Professor Snape” Rickman has left Hogwarts forever. CANCER NEEDS TO KEEP ITS GRUBBY MITTS OFF OF OUR ARTISTIC LEGENDS, DAMMIT.

Appallingly, 1.6 million Americans are diagnosed with cancer every year and over 500,000 Americans will die of cancer cancer this year. That’s 1500 deaths per day or, put another way, the total deaths from 9/11 happening three times each week. Cancer costs families their lives, their savings, their health, and their stability –– and it needs to be hunted down and killed like the evil demon it is.

There is reason for hope, however. The brilliant folks at the National Cancer Institute are doing some amazing things with the genetics of cancer (who knew cancer had genes, right?) that are leading to new knowledge and new treatment avenues for patients. It's brilliant stuff if you like to geek out on highly technical science. All I would ask is that the science accelerate to warp speed before we lose any other amazing people to this asshole of a disease.

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